Hannah, Kristin

Firefly Lane

p.ded – “This book is dedicated to ‘us.’ The girls. Friends who see one another through the hard times, big and small, year in and year out. You know who you are. Thanks.”
p.ded – “The best mirror is an old friend. - George Herbert”
p.1 – “Before they met, that road seemed to go nowhere at all; it was just a country lane named after an insect no one had ever seen in this rugged blue and green corner of the world.”
p.7 – “Gran had frowned when she saw it, told her not to get her hopes up, but Tully hadn’t been able to do that. Her hopes had been up for years.”
p.9 – “Mommy looked at Tully for the first time; really looked at her. ‘You remember that, kiddo. Life isn’t about cooking and cleaning and havin’ babies. It’s about bein’ free. Doin’ your own thing. You can be the fucking president of the United States if you want.’ "
p.16 – “But things changed fast. She knew that now. A horse could get old overnight and go lame. A friend could become a stranger just as quickly.”
p.22 – " ‘So that you know you can be whatever you want to be. Your generation is so lucky. You can be anything you want. But you have to take a risk sometimes. Reach out. One thing I can tell you for sure is this: we only regret what we don’t do in life.’ "
p.26 – “This was shy she never invited anyone over to her house. When you were keeping secrets, you needed to do it alone, in the dark.”
p.34 – “If only she had someone she trusted to talk to. Maybe that would ease a little of this pain. but, of course, there was no one.”
p.35 – “Tully stared a her. In the silvery light from a full moon, she saw nothing but compassion in Kate’s magnified green eyes, and she wanted to talk , wanted it with a fierceness that made her feel sick. but she didn’t know how to start.”
p.37 – " ‘Popular just means lots of people think they know you.’ "
p.38 – “But all night she tossed and turned, dreaming about the encounter with Tully, wondering what would happen in the morning. Should she talk to Tully today at school, smile at her? Or was she expected to pretend it had never happened? There were rules to popularity, secret codes written in invisible ink that only girls like Tully could read. All Kate knew was that she didn’t want to make a mistake and embarrass herself. She knew that sometimes the popular girls were ‘secret friends’ with nerds; like, they smiled and said hi when they weren’t in school or when their parents were friends. Maybe that was how it would be with her and Tully.”
p.41 – “The answer was slim comfort, actually. In the day they’d officially been friends, Kate had learned on thing about Tully: she was a girl who made Plans.”
p.49 – “They helped each other to their feet and retrieved their bikes. By the time they were across the road, Kate barely noticed where she was hurt. She felt like a different girl suddenly– bolder, braver, willing to try anything. So what if trouble followed a night like this? wah was a sprained ankle or a bloody knee next to an adventure? For the past two years she’d followed all the rules and stayed home on weekend nights. No more.”
p.53 – " ‘Do you think lying to your friends is okay?’ ‘No, ma’am.’ So intently was she staring at the floor tha she was startled by a gentle touch on her chin that forced her to look up.”
p.53 – " ‘I’d never hurt Katie.’ Tully wanted to say more, maybe fall to her knees and swear to be a good person, but she was so close to tears she didn’t dare move. She stared into Mrs. Mularkey’s dark eyes and saw something she never expected to see: understanding."
p.54 – " ‘She didn’t want people to look at her like she was pitiful.’ "
p.54 – “Mrs. Mularkey nodded. ‘She hated that look. What matters, though, isn’t other people. That’s what I learned. Who your mom is and how she lives her life isn’t a reflection of you. You can make you own choices. And there’s nothing for you to be ashamed of. But you’ll have to dream big, Tully.’ She glanced through the open door to the living room. ‘Like that Jean Enerson on the TV there. A woman who gets to a place like that in her life knows how to go after what she wants.’ "
p.54 – " ‘How do I know what I want?’ "
p.54 – " ‘You keep your eyes open and do the right thing. Go to college. And trust your friends.’ "
p.57 – “Tully knew what Kate was asking of her; she wanted the truth that had spawned the lie, but Tully didn’t know if she could do it, turn all her pain into words and pass them out like cards. All her life she’d kept these secrets close. If she told Kate the reality and then lost her as a friend, it would be unbearable.”
p.64 – “She hadn’t realized how much sh’ed needed a dream, but it had transformed her, changed her from poor motherless and abandoned Tully to a girl poised to take on the world.”
p.66 – " ‘You know what, Tallulah Hart, I believe you. Now go off to high school and enjoy your senior year. Real life comes fast enough.’ "
p.67 – “Outside, it looked like a postcard of Seattle; the kind of blue-skied, cloudless, picture-perfect day that lured out-of-towners into selling their homes in duller, less spectacular places and moving here. If only they knew how rare these days were. Like a rocket blaster, summer burned fast and bright in this part of the world and went out with equal speed.”
pp.68-69 – “She forced herself to look away. It didn’t do any good in life to pine for what you couldn’t have. Cloud had certainly taught her that lesson.”
p.70 – “My dearest Tully– I am so sorry. I know how afraid you are of being alone, of being left behind, but God has His plan for all of us. I would have stayed with you longer if I could have. Your grandfather and I will always be watching out for you from Heaven. You will never be alone if you believe in that. You were the greatest joy in my life. Love, Gran.”
p.73 – “Tully wondered how long it would be before she could think of Gran without crying.”
p.73 – “Tully stared at her weird reflection in the window. It was like looking at a negative version of her face, colorless and insubstantial. The way she felt inside, actually.”
p.76 – “I am glad you are here with me. Here at the end of all things.”
pp.79-80 – " ‘I know.’ Tully lay back against the log and stared up at the night sky. She wanted to admit that she was scared and that as alone as she’d sometimes felt in life, she knew now what real loneliness was, but she couldn’t ay the words, not even to Kate. Thoughts– even fears– were airy things, formless until you made them solid with your voice, and once given that weight, they could crush you.”
pp.80-81 – " ‘You won’t.’ Tully saw how worried her friend was, and she knew she should stop this plan right now. It was reckless, maybe even dangerous. But she couldn’t stop the train. If she didn’t do something drastic, she’d sink into he gooey darkness of her own fears. She’d think about the mother who’d so often and so repeatedly abandoned her, and the stranger with whom she’d soon live, and the grandmother who was gone. ‘We won’t get caught. I promise.’ She turned to Kate. ‘You trust me, don’t you?’ "
p.82 – " ‘My favorite part was the ever popular she's in a better place. As if dead is better than being with me.’ "
p.87 – “At that, she made a little sound of horror. How could she have been so stupid? The Mularkeys had liked her until tonight, and now she’d gone and thrown that all away, and for what? Because she’d been depressed by her mom’s rejection? By now she ought to be used to that. When had it ever been any other way?”
pp.89-90 – “Through all the decades of Tully’s life, she would remember that moment as the beginning of something new for her; the becoming of someone new. While she lived with the loud, crazy, loving Mularkey family, she found a whole new person inside of her. She didn’t keep secret or tell lies or pretend that she was someone ees, and never once did they act as if she were unwanted or not good enough.”
p.94 – “She’d met with her School of Communications advisor so often that he sometimes avoided her in the hall when he saw her coming, but she didn’t care. When she had questions, she wanted answers.”
p.121 – “Her first time, back in those dark Snohomish woods, faded from her memory a little more each day, until one day she discovered that she no longer carried it around inside of her. It would always be a part of her, a scar on her soul, but like all scars, it faded in time from a bright and burning red to a slim, silvery line that could only sometimes be seen.”
p.127 – “The problem, it seemed, was her heart. Unlike Tully, who could barrel forward and ask any question, Kate found i hard to intrude on people’s grief. More and more often lately, she held back no her own stories and edited Tully’s instead.”
p.127 – “The war in Vietnam had been lost, Nixon had resigned, Mount St. Helens had blown up, and cocaine had become the Chex mix for a new generation of partygoers. The U.S. hockey team had pulled off a miracle win at the Olympics and a B-rate actor was president. Dreams could hardly remain static in such uncertain times.”
p.133 – " ‘Realistic? Realistic is your dad and me trying to manager our expenses when they keep cutting his hours at the plant. Realistic is me being a smart woman who can’t ge a job at anything better than minimum wage because I have no education and all I’ve done is raise kids. Believe me, Katie, you don’t want to be realistic at your age. There’s plenty of time for that. Now you should dream big and reach high.’ "